What is the purpose
of bringing back to mind that has become the past? What is the purpose
of recollecting the moments buried in the deep recesses of the past
and narrating them in literary form? Is there any worldly motive working
behind it? Is there any desire to earn fame or a craving for wealth?
Am I doing this simply to portray me as someone great?
The answer is NO,
most emphatic NO. There is no mundane purpose behind publicizing my
journey in quest of light. As far as I am concerned, I can only say that I
am doing this under divine inspiration. I can very well go ahead without
recollecting my past. Still, I have to remember it for it is His sincere
wish. What is His purpose behind it, he alone would know. I have no choice
but to follow it.
A young lad was inspired
to follow the path of perfection or light and he started his journey. It
is quite probable that behind this inspiration was God's wish that the
world, which is increasingly leaning towards materialism, would have a
chance to read the complete and honest account of his innumerable
experiences along the way. What he achieved at the end of his journey may
infuse them with new vigor, new light. Who can say what His real purpose
is? My duty is only to translate His wish and act upon it. What could be a
servant's duty except to abide most respectfully, by the command of his
Master? In similar fashion, I go ahead in my work as per His inspiration.
I am merely an instrument in God's hands. I am the flute, it is He, who
breathes life into it and plays the notes. My whole life belongs to Him,
and is completely devoted to Him. Following and fulfilling His and only
His wish is my purpose.
I was in the habit of
keeping a diary right from my childhood. I found that this habit had its
own benefits and so I continued it for an extended period. It was my
favorite way of observing life and drawing conclusions thereof. Today,
blessed by divine inspiration, it is assuming the shape of this
autobiography. There is nothing surprising that mostly the wraps and woofs
of my spiritual life have found place in this narrative. My life so far
has been of spiritual nature and continuous spiritual development and
progress is its true depiction. Just as the life story of a politician
would be mostly filled with political details, a soldier's life story
would contain details of the army, bravery and battles, the life story of
the one who travels along the path of spirituality would have in it only
references to spiritualism and Sadhana - what else could it have?
Some people believe that
it is not advisable to disclose publicly the secret spiritual experiences
or performance of sadhana undertaken. They believe that such things should
remain confined to the person who has gone through that experience.
Nevertheless, even those saints who believed in the exclusivity and secret
nature of sadhana have revealed their experiences to their devotees for
human welfare. They have also subsequently become public. Tales associated
with great ones like Buddha, Ramakrishna Paramhansa, Raman Maharshi and
Aurobindo have become well known. Thousands of people have derived
inspiration from them from time-to-time and they have shown light to
humanity at large. On the other hand, strict adherences to exclusivity and
tradition of secret, many branches of learning and details about their
experiences have wiped out. Thereby, the world has suffered a great loss.
The best course is to bypass and rise above the fear of public slander.
One must examine one’s own heart, understand the wish of God and put it
into practice. In my case, it is only after such divine inspiration that I
am beginning to write this brief account of my life.
